Crossings
She wasn’t too pleased. The sun beat down relentlessly. The flies were annoying. Even the sweetness of the mangoes did not pacify her. She had run away from the house after breakfast to sit near the kaayal. Soon her mother would be calling out to her to take her bath. Ammini would draw the water from the well for her. And if she wanted, though her mother would disapprove, she could get it heated up in the big brass cauldron in the bathroom. She disliked the bathroom, the hamam soap that came with it and the fact that she would have to use the water sparingly. The big house depressed her. There were dark grubby corners, the floor was rough and she had to sleep on a coir mat on the floor. The fan was a table fan and it was never enough to beat the heat. The rice she would have for lunch was not the white clean rice she was used to but the reddish one. There would be fish, always fish and all the horrid bones that came with it. She was writing all this down. To her father. Complaining. Telling him this was not how she wanted to spend her summer holiday. She had to be careful with the letter though. The last time she wrote a letter to her dad, her mother’s uncle had snatched it from her hand, proudly reading her English to his mother. Imagine, he would tell his mother, his grand-niece wrote and spoke English so well. Imagine him reading out this letter she was writing. It would break his heart.
She looked up towards the water. She saw one of those boats with a roof over it. She had never been in one of those. She always got to the house on a small boat. And she was always terrified of falling into the water in one of those. The boat with the roof seemed big and capable and completely safe. She could see a lady in there. Seemed like someone from far away, city-bred. Fair and slim. She was wearing one of those stylishly light cotton pants that came up to her calves. She looked like she was having a good time. She watched the boat slowly drift away. And wished she was her, that lady in the boat, watching the shore disappearing, moving away from this stiflingly slow world.
8 comments:
Wonderful piece, cleverly done. Past and present of the same person comes together, She is so familiar, no - I should say I know her so well, yet I wouldnt wanna be in her shoes. There's so much longing here, for what it was and for what it could be. I couldnt live like that. As for the place, Chavara comes to mind.
thanks lakshmi. yes, chavara was the inspiration. i disliked going there as a child - now when i think back, it was idyllic and i was a fool not to appreciate it when i had it.
it will never be the same if u go back there.the house no longer belongs to you and all those people including the uncle you mentioned are all gone. but i can understand the feelings.i too feel the same sometimes.
Reaching back to the future the past once held!
Wonderfully evocative.
Anon, yes. Not sure who this is, seems like someone I know:) But you are right. It will never be the same. Wistfulness though is a nice feeling.
Anil, thanks.
Amazing how we all seem to yearn for the things we once had. I often imagine my native village too. The tractor rides and the bath under the motor and the paddy fields. Thing is, I enjoyed them then. No longer have any family living in the village so think of it wistfully every once in a while. Thanks for the lovely write up. I could imagine the whole environ.
Thanks Laksh. At least you enjoyed it as a child. To me, the absence of all those creature comforts (a fan, running water) took away from all the good things. It's good to be wistful now, though.
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