My Commonplace Book of Wisdom

I turn 50 this year. It is a funny sort of age to be. You know you have more years to look back on than to look forward to, your back aches in the morning, your hair is almost all grey (do not believe the photographs), your birthing years are long gone, and losing weight is a battle you have surrendered. Yet you can refuse to concede you are old - you run a moderately quick 5 km on days you hit the gym, the world and its people haven’t lost their ability to startle, you still dream impossible things.

So you think back on this strange thing called life and you wonder - just like Kathleen Kelly in my favourite movie of all time, “I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?” 

I like my small, un-brave life. And it has yielded me some certitudes. The first of them being there is no such thing as certitude. (Pluto was a planet and now it isn’t, see?).  But for whatever it's worth, my version of a book of commonplace wisdom, an ongoing work-in-progress, at the moment contains this:

• The answers to the big questions - is there a god, what is the purpose of the universe and what is my part in it, what happens after death, and so on and so forth - do not exist (even if Stephen Hawking and Jaggi Vasudev act like they do!). All we can do is try and find answers to some of the smaller questions - what makes us happy as individuals,  how do we reconcile that with the happiness of the communities we live in, and that of the larger world.
• Since we do not know the answers to the bigger questions, it's best to treat every variable in life as a roll of the dice. Where and to whom you are born and the genes you inherit, the choices you are given and the ones you make, the earthquakes and tsunamis you avoid, the fall you survived. Your personal agency is just a teeny, weeny part of what has brought you to this place. Knowing this should make us all kinder. It rarely does, though.
• Wearing life lightly and yet being fully engaged with it - that’s the key to some form of awesomeness. For the anxiety-ridden me, this is a virtual impossibility.
• The pursuit of knowledge, for its own sake, is a worthwhile endeavour. It might or might not have anything to do with building a career. At the very least, it makes you a more interesting person.
• Religion is by and large a crutch. The trick is to know that it is, when you are using it.
• The older you get, the more you appreciate your body. Few things are more important than keeping it well-tuned. 
• There is very little downside to hard work and perseverance. It’s a fine enough substitute for outsized talent. More often than not, it gets you to your goal.
• There is beauty in the world. There is also horror. Philosophy can help in dealing with the contradictions. So can poetry, sometimes. Marcus Aurelius and Mary Oliver always help.
• Nothing gives you a sense of accomplishment as earning your own money. Knowing you are not dependent on anyone else for your basic needs is a key benefit of adulthood.
• Whenever, wherever you find joy, best to grab it. There are too many un-joyful things anyway.
• A hot shower is an effective cure for bad days. So is exercise.
• Learning some things early in life is important - swimming, cycling, playing racket sports. Learning them as adults is not quite the same. And going through life not having these skills is quite a bummer.
• It's important to not need people too much. Easier said than done.
• Niceness is an underrated quality. One of the best things to encounter in life is a genuinely nice person. And it's not as rare as it's made out to be.
• Moderation is key to long term well being. Call me boring.
• Most people aren’t in love with their day jobs. So it’s important to have a hobby you truly love.
• You take for granted the people who love you the most. As you grow older, you discover what a big mistake that is.
• It is important to feel deeply inspired once in a while. By people perhaps and what they have done, or by books or movies, art or architecture, nature or landscapes. And it’s worth going that extra mile or spending that extra money, to feel that feeling.  

And here is something that is inspirational to me - someone else’s life learnings, her own book of common-place wisdom, a site that is so totally wonderful, one that has given me new books to read, new art to see, new poetry to listen to, new thoughts to think - Brain Pickings by Maria Popova. Enjoy!